Nobody fucks with the Jesus

Its seems Republican Presidential candidate John McCain secretly wishes he was a comedian working the Catskills circuit on top of his dream of being president before he croaks.
A fresh light is being shone on when Grumpy Smurf tried his hand at stand up with this gem from 1986 that will no doubt go back into his regular routine at the Friars Club along with jokes about Chelsea Clinton ("Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."), Iran ("Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran"), the old stand-by "When did you stop beating your wife?" gag, and let's not forget McCain's expressing his inner Henny Youngman by using Cindy McCain in his act ("At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt."):

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?’

BA-DUM-BUM!!! Man, rape jokes are funny enough on their own but when you mix them with any form of simian it becomes comedy gold. Mccain is a comedy stylist par excellence.
I swear its like John McCain is subconsciously trying to lose this election what with his constant public flubs and increasingly directionless campaign.
Of course you'd think that running against such a trainwreck would guarantee a cakewalk to the White House for the O-Man but according to a recent Gallup poll these two assholes are in a statistical deadheat with Obama at 45% and McCain at 44%.