Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

5. Halle Berry (Best Actress for MONSTER'S BALL)


She won for allowing Billy Bob Thornton to climb her back and live out his jungle fever fantasies on film. Honestly can anyone remember anything about Monster's Ball aside from that sex scene? So Halle snuck a fast one by the Academy and what does she do? She takes her little naked golden man statue and signs on to play Catwoman in a movie that had nothing to do with Catwoman and seemed to be written by a mentally challenged chimp. Then she follows that disaster up with a string of forgettable roles that probably deserved to go straight to DVD (Gothika, Perfect Strangers) while fitting in a couple of bad acting showcases in the X-Men sequels just for shits and giggles. Its not often that a person can lay claim to being an Oscar winner as well as a Razzie winner but Halle broke that barrier, she should be oh so proud.



4. Nicolas Cage (Best Actor for LEAVING LAS VEGAS)


Look at Cage's post-Oscar rap sheet: Snake Eyes, Face/Off, Gone In Sixty Seconds, Next, Bangkok Dangerous, Ghost Rider, and the creme de le creme of movies that are so bad they are funny...The Wicker Man. Its like he let's his dog pick his scripts.


3. Lou Gossett Jr (Best Supporting ACTOR FOR AN OFFICER & A GENTLEMAN)


Gossett delivered a great scenery chewing performance to win his Oscar and then once he had the cache to get the types of roles that were probably denied him before decided that his next picture would be Jaws 3-D. Crickets. Crickets. And he has been spiraling down the Hollywood ladder ever since. The last thing I remember Lou starring in was an episode of the crappy sci-fi series Stargate. Hattie McDaniel must have rolled over in her grave.


2. Cher (Best Actress for MOONSTRUCK)


Cher was on a role for a while in the 80's. She wracked up a pretty stellar list of great performances in really good movies (Silkwood, Mask, The Witches of Eastwick) so when she won for Moonstruck it was expected that she'd go on to make more quality films and probably get a couple more nominations. Instead she started hawking skin cream in super cheesy infomercials.


1. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Best Supporting Actor for JERRY MAGUIRE)


Cuba Gooding must be a compulsive gambler with massive debts owed to some deadly mobsters. Its the only thing that can explain how he went from red hot young Oscar winner to the punchline of way too many bad career decision jokes. There was a slight glimmer of hope for a career rejuvenation after he made Shadowboxer but he shot that all to hell by following it up with Daddy Day Camp. That movie made Boat Trip look like Citizen Kane.