Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

The unstoppable juggernaut of karoake kookiness returns tomorrow night with the suff I really enjoy...the bad auditions. By the time AI gets to the final lineup with the guest appearance's by Barry Manilow and brand new manglings of Whitney Houston songs I'm kind of bored but the initial phase really entertains me to no end.
I get great joy out seeing delusional people attempt to follow their dreams of stardom despite having zero talent and I bust a gut when said delusional no-talents get angry at the judges for pointing out just how untalented they are.
I'm hoping against hope that this years crop of loonies has someone that has even a tenth of the psychosis of my absolute favorite American Idol wannabe...the divalicious Miss Rhonetta Johnson!
Like a time displaced psychotic hooker from Shaft Goes To Africa, Rhonetta is quite possibly the greatest person to ever wear shiny boots, a cheap blonde wig, micro-miniskirt and no panties while warbling through three lines of a Britney Spears ong in the history of this world or any other in this galaxy. This biotch is a star! Plus she can take a punch like Joe Frazier.  This hooch is true triple threat.

But even if no one approaches the level of star power that Rhonetta exudes at least i can get a few glimpses of Paula Abdul in all her intoxicated glory: